Message for my “Christian Friends”... I forgive you.

Gentle Rebuke for my “Christian-friends”. I forgive you. 

WARNING: VULNERABLE ALERT ALSO LONG POST

This is a loving rebuke for those who may need it. I’m praying it’s received in the spirit it is given. 

Recently (over a year ago) I was angry with God. And as a result, I did not want to walk in obedience to His will. 

This time of my life was very brief, but the pain was so deep and my actions so significant... it caused a lot of brokenness in many areas of my life. 

I KNOW I am absolutely 100% responsible for my own actions and behavior and would never try and make someone else feel responsible or take blame. I get that. 

Having said that though, I’d like to share about some experiences I had. 

Several times I tried to reach out & confide in friends and people I thought would be “safe” to be transparent with, people who may have been able to help me; to find clarity, find conviction and find my way back to Jesus. I was looking for a word that would bring about healing and repentance. 

But, time & time again I was met with, anger, rejection, judgment, condemnation, silent treatment, I was called names, I was cursed, and most painfully, I was betrayed when those I confided in gossiped about me out of pseudo “concern” and shared my story with others and many times INACCURATELY!! Which caused more hurt to the ears that listened. Very few offered to pray with me or any hope at all. 

All this led to more broken relationships and even more distance between me and the church and Jesus. Every one of these friends/people are “Christians”. Who I thought I could trust. 

Now again, I’m not saying my actions were justified in ANY way. I have confessed and sought forgiveness and have repented and been made new. 

Yet, when I confronted a couple folks about my experience I was told “well if you didn’t want anyone to find out, or people to react that way, you should have never said anything or you should never have made those mistakes in the first place. You knew the truth and you chose to walk away, their response is just a consequence of your own choices.” 

My friends hear my heart in this, that attitude is SO wrong on so many levels. The Bible is very clear that it is His *Kindness* that leads people to repentance!! And it is the Holy Spirits job to convict. 

What was the POINT of Jesus being crucified if not for GRACE & Mercy and Forgiveness!! And How can someone suggest I keep my sin hidden?? 

There are still some people who have not forgiven me. And others who still don’t trust me. (That I understand and do accept as a consequence of my choices) 

...but to be outright-condemned, cursed at, rejected and gossiped about- is JUST as sinful as anything I had done!! 

No WONDER so many people don’t like Christianity!!! So many of us give it a bad name. 

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When I NEEDED CHRISTS LOVE THE MOST... I was abandoned. 

Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually. *That broke me more, than what led me to rebellion in the first place.*

Honestly I have no idea if any of the folks responsible will ever read this or if some of them are even on Social Media but ... maybe my story will help someone else. 

LISTEN PLEASE: 

If a brother or sister in Jesus, is falling... don’t cut the rope!!! Reach out and help them up!! 

*Don’t turn your back. 

*Don’t take up others’ offenses, 

*Don’t play Holy Spirit!

*Don’t Just “call-out” their sin & offer no hope. 

Love them through it. Speak truth in love! Stop, **find out what is causing the gap in their relationship with Jesus and offer them HOPE!** Remind them of Gods character, that He loves them no matter what, that there is forgiveness and redemption!! And that they are worthy of both. 

I needlessly spent a lot longer time away from church (and repentance) because all I felt was more pain and anger and betrayal & rejection. 

**My Christian friends added salt to a wound and confusion to my pain**

I had never felt SO LOW!!! 

And THAT is not JESUS!!! He didn’t come to condemn or to make people feel badly about themselves...if that’s what you’re doing, then YOU ARE NOT REPRESENTING CHRIST. 

Again I hope this is received well and *not* doing exactly what I’m rebuking, by making people feel condemned, judged etc. that’s not my heart or intent. 

Truly, I think it’s important for all of us to be mindful of what we say to those who are hurting and in sin. Wether they are non-believers, baby-believers, or folks who have walked with the Lord for years. 

If any of you who reacted this way to me do read this. I forgive you. I love you. I bless you! 

AS FOR ME: Where am I now? 

God WAS able to redeem all of this. During this dark time of my life, as always, God was faithful. He did show up, over & over and wooed me back to Himself. 

I was able to learn even more about His character and understand on an even deeper and more meaningful level forgiveness & grace and what it means to come out of the mire and have that “conversion” moment. 

I became even more humbled and more in love with Jesus than ever! My Rock and My Salvation. Things we go through- even as a result of our own sinful choices- are not purposeless. He can use them and turn them into Gold. 

Thank you for reading. 

#TrialsTurnToGold 

#TestToTestimony