Strange Fruit- Reboot

 

• Elementary Schools bear a strange allure  

• Blood on the chairs, and blood on the floors  

• Children hiding behind locked doors 

• In Elementary Schools where they’re supposed to be secure 

• Children huddled, crying sweet and pure 

• Cowering, Fearful and unsure 

• Wondering & hoping when this will end 

• and then the sudden sound of bullets again. 

• Here is a place supposed to be safe 

• How do we even begin to explain 

• This strange allure that brings unstable humans 
• And won’t let mama’s babies go home again. 

A little prayer poem

 

Dear Lord Jesus, I don’t know what to do.

I know I am nothing without you.

Lord hear my prayer.

Be near me in this hour.

Father you are always enough.

But life is sometimes, so very tough.

Jesus you give so much peace.

But life leaves me so ill at ease.

My anxiety is through the roof.

But I know your word holds Hope and Truth. 

Lord, I need to feel you near me.

Holy Spirit hear my plea.

 

I want to choose faith over fear,

I want to sense you near.

Help me to surrender all.

To accept your blessings and your call.

Help me love others, just the way you do.

Help them sense your presence too.

All this I ask in Jesus name.

Until you take me home again. 

Amen

Psalm 145: 17-20a

17 

The Lord is righteous in all his ways

    and faithful in all he does.

18 

The Lord is near to all who call on him,

    to all who call on him in truth.

19 

He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;

    he hears their cry and saves them.

20 

The Lord watches over all who love him,

Reflecting Christ by "Loving ALL"

Wrote this in 2015... How relevant it is today. 

Acting like Christ, Acting in love.

MIA COX·MONDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2015·3 MINUTES

This video actually ANGERS me. Not very loving I know. But watch it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvoWBbYxdwc

As CHRISTIANS we should be the FIRST in line to "feed the sheep".

Jesus said:

"If you love me, Keep my commands. If you love me feed my sheep.

When I was hungry you fed me, when I was naked you gave me clothes

whenever you do so to the least of these you have done this for me."

John 21:15-17

John 14:15

Matthew 25:45

If WE are not "savages & sociopaths" if we consider ourselves "CIVILIZED"

(a.k.a. Better than sociopaths and savages) then should we not also believe that

ALL LIVES MATTER.

Not minimizing Black Lives Matter. This is not the same context in which I am saying All Lives Matter

But because all lives matter to God. Every life is fearfully and wonderfully made with a purpose:

Psalm 139

Jeremiah 29:11

I remember in the 90’s a worship song that we frequently sang and one of the verses says

“I sing for Joy at the work of your hands...”

Guess what brothers & sisters... every person you encounter, good, bad, ugly and evil is the

work of God’s hands. I believe NOBODY is beyond redemption.

I believe I am called by Christ to love all people the way God does.

ALL HUMANS MATTER EQUALLY:

*Homeless,

*LGBTQ+,

*Black,

*Syrian,

*Mexicans

*Police Officers

*Women who get abortions

*Babies aborted

*Criminals

*Refugees

*Immigrants

*Children

*Veterans

*Muslims

*Atheist

*Republicans

*Democrats

*Donald Trump

*Human. beings.

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU MATTER. The same.

CHRISTIANS STEP UP.

Be that kind of Christian that people who are in need, broken and searching...

RUN to because you are SAFE,

because they KNOW you will help...

because they KNOW you will love them.

Be the kind of Christian that I don't know...ACTS LIKE CHRIST:

Jesus Feeds the 5000 because it was getting late and they were hungry -Matthew 14

Jesus heals the bleeding woman who secretly sought him out - Luke 8

Jesus Heals on the Sabbath, even though it was against the church - Mark 3

Jesus heals the lame man whose friends lowered him through roof -Mark 2.

Over and over again people sought Jesus out because they KNEW He could and would help!!

He NEVER turned his back on people asking for help who genuinely needed it.

WHY do we CONSISTENTLY Place the value of human life on some folks more than others????

Seriously?!!!

WHAT makes us think we are qualified to decide who is the more important human????

Who gets to LIVE and who gets to DIE.

Who gets to have money/healthcare/education/citizenship and Who doesn't?

How do we expect to draw people to Christ if we are consistently misrepresenting Him?

John 13: 34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another;

as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

That’s it we’re, finished!

We’re through. Do you hear me? 

I want nothing more to do with you. 

I despise you. 

No matter how much you try and hold me back, or tempt to me stay, I know you are just no good for me. 

You have wreaked havoc in my life. 

You have hurt me for the last time. 

You have made me doubt myself and robbed me of my joy. 

You’re despicable. 

There was a time when I found comfort in you. 

There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to be curled up snuggled with you on a couch, and never leave. 

There was a time when you were all I could think about! 

There was a time when we were so intimately intertwined I didn’t know where I ended & you began. 

I used to believe you. 

I used to think you were the only thing that was constant and faithful. 

But now I know the truth. 

I see you, for who you really are! 

And I am telling you to hit the road and never come back. 

It’s over. 

So long Depression. 

Farewell Bitterness 

Goodbye Fear... and Good Riddance 

Justice is served.

Vengeance or Justice  

Long read... but worth it! 

Yesterday, someone stole some important items right off our front porch. (See original social media posts below) I felt angry, violated, helpless, and somewhat responsible for not retrieving said items when the doorbell was first rung since I was home. 

I cried off & on for nearly 2 hours. Police officers came into my home to take a report. I was so worried about the expense of the items as well as the need for some of it. 

After they left, In this day & age I did what any social media fan would do. I posted it. The video, still pics and a plea for help from my community. It went “viral” of sorts. In the end over all platforms, the video was viewed 24K times & shared about 500 times. 

Half a dozen people reached out to me via private message and all said the same person was responsible. Information I gladly shared with the Police officer who had taken my report. 

Hours went by and I was absolutely STUNNED at the amount of love and support we got from our community. I was shocked that it was shared sooo many times. I held on to very little hope of it ever being found/returned. 

And here’s the thing, hundreds of comments... all saying they hoped for this persons arrest. They wanted him to face charges and get locked up and throw away the key. 

Many assuming (rightly) that he has a history of this behavior and assuming that he was a drug user or dealer, or gang banger or has committed worse crimes. That he is dangerous etc. 

Many calling him names, lots of names. Lots of offense and anger and outrage at his audacity and brazenness. Not a single person said one kind or encouraging or positive word about this “scum” who stole the items. And I did not disagree!! I was hurt and angry and afraid. I was being startled by any little noise outside. 

Eventually the thief himself contacted me. He wanted to return the items. He “swore” it was just a one time stupid mistake. I don’t believe the sincerity of his apologies. I was told that his best friend reached out to him to insist he return it, after seeing my post on numerous pages. I think he was just afraid of getting caught.... He was caught! 

He told me he left the items undamaged behind a grocery store in our neighborhood. This was at 11:30PM. He SAID he had left the area, as he was afraid I might call cops. 

My husband did not want me to go retrieve it. He didn’t believe the kid and he felt it *could* be a scam or trap or something. He wanted me to be escorted. So we called the Police again, who were so gracious to go with us and search behind the grocery store at Midnight! 

Everything was exactly where this kid said it was. Unopened and Undamaged. 

The cops gave us a choice. We could take possession of our stuff immediately and drop charges. Or we could pursue charges and have our items confiscated for evidence, returned at a much future date. We opted for immediate possession and to drop the charges. 

I had a chance to speak with the kid after all this. I told him we weren’t pressing charges. He thanked me, and apologized again. 

Here is where I had another choice. 

Justice says: He “deserves” to suffer consequences of his actions. Vengeance says He hurt me, so He should be hurt. Justice says: Hold him accountable and responsible for his choices. Vengeance says: He is a “bad” person who deserves punishment. Justice is Good and right and has a place. Vengeance is fueled by anger and hurt and serves no purpose. Which would I choose?? 

I thought about everything, everyone was saying about this kid. The people that reached out to me privately knew him personally and they tell a story of a “bad” kid who has been in and out of jail for all his teenage years, of how he had also stolen from them. How he does do drugs and sells it. Sells stolen goods to buy drugs. How often he has lied. How I should not let him get away with this, because he will just keep doing it. They tell me of their personal wounds and hurts from this same kid, who hurt our family. That I should not trust him. One person even said he was “evil”. 

When the kid reached out to me, He said he had read all those comments. He didn’t even deny any of it!! And all I could think of is, “Is there anyone in this kids life that sees him? Sees him as a person past the behavior? That tells him what/when he is doing RIGHT? or Good?” 

My heart swelled with compassion. My heart saw him through Christs Eyes. Through my “Trauma informed Counselor” eyes. 

I took the opportunity when I spoke with him to say: 

Listen, you did the RIGHT thing returning it. I also appreciate that you told the truth about where it was. You did a good thing. You may have a lot of people always telling you all the things you do wrong/bad. But I’m not like that. I forgive you. My daughter is super happy right now. 

Please just know that I’m pointing out the right/good things you did. Just do yourself a favor and from now on make more right choices. And start counting them.

He said he would try and turn his life around. I didn’t believe it. But I am praying it’s true. I am praying that one simple act of kindness will have a long lasting impact. 

Listen, Living out the Christian life in real life, when the rubber meets the road is difficult. 

I have had to “forgive” more than my fair share of hurts, more times than I care to acknowledge. 

But it’s a necessary choice to grow in my relationship with Jesus and my relationship to those around me and to this world. 

JUSTICE in Gods “Upside Down” Kingdom is not always “Fair” & doesn’t always mean that someone suffers for their wrongs. 

My response to him was my way of saying “... neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more.” 

HONESTLY, I have sinned against and wounded God more times than I can count. I also “deserve” Justice & Punishment. But thankfully... The God I serve has already paid that price. And He also sees me and calls me Good! He calls me beloved, He delights in me, He sings over me, He sees me past my behavior. In spite of how often I fail him. 

Forgiveness =Freedom. 

If you are holding on to hurts/wounds/anger over wrongs done to you or your family, if you know Jesus. I pray you are able to forgive and see the good. There is so much more JOY in a life filled with forgiveness and redemption. 

Thanks for reading. 

—————————————————————

**UPDATE** 12:30AM 1/28 

WE GOT OUR STUFF BACK COMPLETELY UNHARMED!!!! 😭😭😭

Very long story... but it was 

SERIOUSLY THANKS TO YOU ALL!! 

Please don’t feel the need to share anymore. 😛 

Cannot Thank you enough. 

#SocialMedia #PositiveNetworking #GodIsGood 

———————————-

UPDATE** 10:32PM 1/27 

First I want to say THANK you to ALL of you who shared and viewed this video. It has been viewed all total, between “Ring”, FB, “Neighbor” over 2,500 times!!! And Shared so far 410 times. 

As a result... 

4 SEPARATE individuals gave me the SAME NAME and Photos and FB profile of the person they think did it. 

I am Emailing the detectives Screenshots of those conversations (per their request will not include the names of who told me) 

PLEASE IF YOU KNOW THIS PERSON in the video 

I could use some more photos from his FB page to compare and/or a location or address. Right now I have a name, a profile pic. And a posssible city. 

This is the POWER OF POSITIVE SOCIAL NETWORKING! Please keep sharing. 

Thank you so much!! 

____________________________________

Updated*** 

This post is now public on my fb page and is “shareable” please share. 

Also, YES a police report has been made. Thank you. 

———————

Original Post** 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you know this person. 

They stole my husbands Life saving Medicine!! AND my daughter’s Birthday present. 

I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble, we just need them returned!!

This is on Old Post Road in Mill Race Creek He appears to be going towards Judith Circle.

A living Sacrifice

Listening to this song, I’m reminded that when I go through tough times, and life is very very hard and I am utterly shattered and broken... that I actually ASKED for this!!! What???

I didn’t ask to go through specific hardships.
I didn’t ask to be abused.
I didn’t ask to be raped.
I didn’t ask for my husband to leave me.
I didn’t want to be divorced.
I didn’t ask to lose everything.
I didn’t ask to face homelessness.
I didn’t ask for close loved ones to die or be killed.
I didn’t ask for my serious health issues.
I didn’t ask for my brain injury.
I didn’t want to feel so spent and tired.

But I have said; Lord Refine me. Mold me.
I did surrender and say “You are the potter.”
I did say, “Lord have your way.”
I did say “I will follow you, no matter what”
I did say “Lord I am yours.”

I remember that time I committed my life to Christ and said “You can have your way with me.”
I did say I would be a living sacrifice.

So all I have been through and have yet to go through, is in essence, the culmination of God answering prayers, meeting me and pruning.

Painful.

I think that’s why I read Psalm 145 out loud every day. There’s a lot of meat in it.

But the cliffs notes:

He is God.
He is Holy.
He is Powerful.
He is Mighty.
He is BIG.
He is Strong.
He is Just.
He is Creator
He is Righteous
AND
He is Good.
He is Kind
He is Forgiving
He Lifts Us
He Stays with us
He answers us.
He Is Faithful.
He will satisfy

And there is this balance in the tension of all those truths. It’s not one or the other. It’s all of it.

Listen:

https://youtu.be/UGFCbmvk0vo

A Decade of Change ...

... a Picture of Hope. 

As we approach the end of this decade, I wanted to take a look back at all that has happened since 2010. These brief “titles” don’t begin to describe the enormous impact some of these events had on my life. The tremendous pain, confusion, fear and instability they had at times. And sometimes immense pride and Joy! A true roller coaster. 

Some of these things lasted a year or more... and not everything is of course mentioned; this isn’t an exhaustive list, just the “highlights”. 

*Moved 5 times 

*Moved across the country 

*Sold a house 

*Lived with & survived physical, emotional and spiritual abuse! 

*Discovered & Forgave infidelities 

*I Got divorced 

*I Got remarried 

*Have held 9 different jobs 

*Had 4 kids graduate High School

*Had 2 kids graduate College

*Had kiddo’s, do homeschooling, Online School and drop out of school. 

*Traveled out of state 24 times 

*Traveled out of country 3 times 

*Healed from/forgave a plethora of Childhood Trauma and found a new freedom. 

*Had 2 kids get married 
*Got “lost” for a summer, and then was found. Amazing Grace. 

*Been in the Emergency Room 4 times w/ serious illness or injury. 

*Got some training/certification to be a counselor

*Learned to love and like myself 

*Ruptured my Achilles Tendon 

*Learned to set good and healthy boundaries 

*Discovered 2 new life threatening allergies 

*Spent 3 months with boils all over my body (caused by Strep) 

*Had fun dating half a dozen really great (some gorgeous & very successful) men. 

*lost 50 pounds 

*Gained 50 pounds 

*Lost 7 close relatives 

*Lost 4 close friends 

*Faced Homelessness 3 times. 

*Was assaulted at one of my workplaces #Metoo 

*Spent countless hours & hours at various beaches. 

*Made half a dozen good friends. 

*Almost lost a daughter. THREE times. 

*Memorized Several chapters in the Bible 

Life changes so fast. 

If you were to ask me 10 years ago, “where will you be in 10 years?” Almost all of these things would never have crossed my mind. 

Life changed from year to year! With different homes, jobs, kids in different schools-even type of school, different friends in and out of my life, Different illnesses, and so on. Not one year looked the same as the last. 

Now I’m a stay at home mom, living in a large beautiful house on a lake, in a whole new state-married to the man of my dreams. 

People get “Stuck” in their circumstances. They feel like nothing will ever change. They get depressed and/or anxious about their future. 

The truth is, when you look back... that’s when you realize how strong you are. How far you’ve come! No matter how small, how insignificant or subtle it may be. Change happens. It’s your decision how you respond to it, and wether it’s a change for your good or for your demise. It’s about perspective. 

EMBRACE the Change. Get Unstuck! Just put one foot in front of the other. But keep going. Don’t give up! You’re worth it. POKOPO. 

Phil. 4:13 
Phil. 3:14 
Heb. 12:1-2

Cheers to the next Decade! Whatever it may bring. 

Reframe: Stressor > Triggers

In your recovery & healing journey, you may have heard the word “trigger” used quite frequently. 

I learned (Thanks to Mary Ellen Copeland Foundation & W.R.A.P.) recently to change the term to “Stressor” & here’s why: 

Trigger: like that used in a gun, is a strong and powerful term used to identify the visceral feelings our bodies & minds go through when we are faced directly or indirectly with a memory of an incident or a person/place/object involved in said incident. 

But what happens when you pull the trigger of a gun? The bullet shoots, and it’s force is destructive. Regardless of what it hits, paper, soft object, target etc. it will destroy whatever it comes in contact with on impact. More over, you can’t stop the bullet from its trajectory once it’s released from the gun. Lastly, you can’t put a used bullet back inside the gun. Once you pull the trigger that’s it! No changing course, no changing the outcome. 

But that is not the case with Trauma & “Stressors”: 

We deal with a plethora of stressors every single day! Some more significant than others. And 100% of the time we somehow manage to cope and deal and overcome every single stressor we face, daily!! 

EVEN THE EVENTS FROM THE PAST THAT YOU EXPERIENCED. You survived it, you lived through the actual event, once already! So when faced when a memory, or a person directly or indirectly, you WILL Survive that too! 

You might say but the term “Stressor”

Isn’t a strong enough word to describe the impact my “Triggers” have on me... 

The term “Stressor” minimizes the impact on purpose. By changing the term and language in our own minds when faced with our (now called) Stressors - it immediately **empowers** us and reminds us, we CAN overcome, as we do with every other Stressor everyday, we can change the trajectory AND the outcome!! It does not *have* to destroy you. Not even for a moment. 

That Stressor does not control me. My body and my mind may continue to have an immediate and unexpected visceral response... but I get to control how I will cope, to overcome that response and more importantly to what degree I will continue to let that Stressor have power over me!! 

E.G. “... this situation stresses me out! (Instead of ‘Triggers Me’) What will I do to release and reduce the stress?” ... then use your wellness tools. (Don’t have Wellness Tools? Ask me!) I acknowledge that, it’s “not that simple”, and those physical responses happen so quickly we often don’t have time to think through our reaction. But training ourselves now-before the incident will help. And continuing to practice this every time, will make it easier and easier to become our new “normal” “go-to” response.  

(W.R.A.P. Is a SAMHSA Evidenced Based Tool to help you feel better and stay better. Developed by Mary Ellen Copeland). 

You are stronger than you know & braver than you believe. 

REMEMBER; STATISTICALLY SPEAKING!!!! 

You have *already* survived 100% of everything you’ve been through. You will survive Stressors too! 

Phil. 4:13 

Hi. I’m Mia, and I’m an Introvert.

MYTHS & MISCONCEPTIONS about Introverts: 

1. They don’t like people. (This may be true for some but not most) 

2. They’re “Shy”. 

3. They lack good social skills 

4. They don’t get lonely. 

5. They don’t know how to have “fun”. 

6. Something is *wrong* with them/they’re depressed. 

I love people. In general. I enjoy talking to and getting to know people; I think everyone has a story and everyone is valuable and important. But I don’t prefer “crowds” and I don’t like being the center of attention. Give me an intimate setting for a *short* amount of time. 👌🏽 golden. My closest friends know I am the one who skips weddings, funerals, celebrations of almost any kind if I think I can get away with it & it’s nothing personal to the folks of honor. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I am not shy. I have no fear, and am typically the one who talks first, will introduce myself and try and make others feel welcome. But I do feel like I am “on”. And it requires a ton of effort. Being so friendly- especially for an extended period of time, drains me and can sometimes even take days to recover. This is the same with public speaking. I can do it. And am told I’m great at it. But it’s not an enjoyable experience & requires that being “on”. 

Again, I would like to think that my friends/family/coworkers would agree I have decent social skills. I know how to carry on a conversation, ask thoughtful questions, and segue when necessary to end the conversation politely. Sometimes I even do most of the talking!! (Shocking I know) 

One of the biggest challenges I personally have as an strong introvert is that I simultaneously get very lonely and want companionship and company; and yet want to be in my own home and actually *Need* frequent alone time. Again, this is where having a couple of *close* friends over for a *short* amount of time maybe a couple times per week is my “sweet-spot”. Since this rarely is possible... I am often just alone and lonely. 

Fun is in the eye of the beholder. I love having fun! One-on-one with my husband, at home watching a

Movie. Or over the phone cackling at my little sisters anecdotes. Or at monthly “Family Game Night” with my adult kids, in my own home. Occasionally I will enjoy getting dressed up and going out to a club or event or friends BBQ- because my husband loves to do those things- but this is maybe 3 or 4 times per year. I “join in” on whatever is going on and fully engage in it, and I have fun. But don’t be surprised if we leave early or decline the next few invites, still recovering from the last social event. 

Sometimes when I isolate, go off-grid, or otherwise just don’t seem available and approachable... I am just emotionally and physically SPENT. I am fine. I am not depressed. Nothing is “wrong” and I am content and happy with my life. But I need to refocus, refresh, regenerate energy and recuperate from previous engagements. Sometimes the irony, is that when I am trying to isolate and kind of slow down... is when people begin to “worry” and so insert themselves even more into my life. I have had to explain myself so many times, I have had to apologize for offending people who take it personally and I have frequently having to set very good and hard boundaries. It’s a conundrum. Please do not take offense or take it personally if I don’t feel like returning your text, or if I decline your invite. 

Lastly, I think one thing that bothers me is the invalidation I get as an introvert. Because I am not shy, and am friendly and sociable, people have expectations of me that aren’t reasonable and ask things of me I am not able to give. When I tell them I am an introvert- I have heard “No you’re wrong. You need to take the assessment again. There’s no way you’re an introvert.” Or “Really? I had no idea, you don’t seem shy, I would never have known, ... well anyway, can you volunteer for _____” completely dismissing my explanation of why I’m isolating or saying No etc. I feel often that I have to somehow “prove” my introvertedness. 

Hopefully this article helps clear up some of these issues and questions. 

There you have it. My personal perspective on being an introvert.